Truly Twisted Marketing

Ok, here’s the scenario.

This is a true story…

A friend of mine came to me with a dilemma.

She found herself in a relationship with a man who was an excellent friend and one day, out of the blue, sparks began to fly between the two of them. Being good friends they toyed around with the idea of being not only friends but lovers. Both were single with children.

They flirted, they danced, they teased, they played…a little. Both being mature and grown up people they talked very openly about how they felt about one another.

The two of them found that they matched up nicely in a lot of areas. Their relationship started to grow – sort of. It was sweet and genuine and natural to begin with and really fun. And there was this sexy undercurrent that was always there between the two of them.

Sounds fun right?

But things started to slide. He didn’t want to date or be open about anything in front of other people…um, yeah, that should have probably been the first heads up or at least to my way of thinking…

But, he was an excellent friend. As she describes him…one of those really stand up guys – honorable, family-oriented and a gentleman. He helped with her kids. She helped with his. They talked about family, life and everything in between. They sent text messages, talked via the phone and online. They got pretty close. They saw each other all the time. That sexy undercurrent didn’t go away.

She began to really think seriously about wanting to do normal things like going out on a date with this person and letting nature take its course – trusting him to hold that space with her.
But there was always that ‘something’ that held her back.

***Just FYI…I call that ‘something’ intuition, inner guidance or simply paying attention and being aware on a different level.

Then something pretty big happened. He posted his profile on an online dating site – not just one but a couple of them. He didn’t tell her. She found it by accident.

Oh man.

Now, I don’t believe there are accidents. I think there are signposts on the roadway of life and when things line up one way or another they collide and we call them accidents – but in actuality they are signals that God, the Universe, our Angels or whatever you happen to call it are shouting as loudly as possible at us to pay attention.

What my friend missed the whole way along this short little journey and finally got when it flew straight into her face was this…his words didn’t line up with his actions.

It’s not a matter of right or wrong but when actions and words don’t line up, what you create can only be…well, a mixed bag of confused nuts.

You see when we create ANYTHING it begins with a thought. That thought begins its manifestation when it is spoken and turned into words. When it is expressed to another, via whatever medium you choose, there are then two people involved in the creation. More power is given to that initial thought because there is now more than one person involved in the creation of it. Two people are always stronger than one in any creative endeavor. And with two people both creating then some sort of action is always sure to follow.

Here’s the rule of thumb: actions follow words which follow thoughts. It’s a simple formula that we forget about all the time.

Now, what does this story have to do with marketing? And, does it have a happy ending?

I’m getting to that. Here it is…

The whole marketing point here is that what we create with our customers is very akin to a good relationship. If our marketing campaigns make false promises, mislead or in any way shape or form don’t line up in an honest viable offer, it will eventually come out.

And, the risk of losing that customer, that one relationship is huge.

In fact, the odds that it won’t be lost are pretty slim. It depends, of course, on the amount of trust that was there to begin with and if your customer believes you made an honest mistake or if you were purposely manipulating and misleading.

But the truth is that once that customer has stepped out and no longer trust your motives it’s next to impossible to get them back.

That’s why it’s important in any marketing campaign to examine your motives, be real, be honest and be of value to the people you want to do business with. Make sure your actions and your words match up and you’ll have a straight shot to getting the relationship you desire with your customers.

Now for the rest of the story…

As of today, there’s no happy ending.

Now, I personally absolutely love and believe in happy endings. In this case, though, I’m not so sure there is one.

My friend did opt out – called it quits realizing she needed a little less game playing and I have to say I’m proud of her. She’s being true to herself and as honest as she can be in her relationships. I am prejudiced, of course, because when I look at her, her accomplishments, her beauty and very big heart I know that she is just like me in many ways.

As for him…he’s online. Dating, not dating…who knows! In the big scheme of things he’s creating his own path, in his own way. He'll find his way to exactly what it is he wants. 

So that’s it for today. Advice on a lot of fronts, I know, but keepin’ it real and sharing the marketing love is what it’s all about.